I don’t feel totally satisfied with the title of this blog & kind of feel like I need a better one. I feel like the current one implies that by Bill being gone, my life is incomplete or I rely on him so deeply that I cannot find peace & joy alone. Neither of which are true. More accurately – life is more fun & exciting with someone to share & laugh with. And we laugh SO MUCH together. He is one of the funniest people I know. Oh, I have an idea. I’ll do a contest! Comment title ideas below, and whichever one I choose will receive an Amazon gift card. Easy enough!
December 20th, Day 1 – today sucked & I was sad, obviously. Since Bill’s flight didn’t leave until the afternoon, we didn’t leave to go to the airport until around noon. I did last minute Christmas shopping while he packed. After he left, I beat myself up for not being more present & in the moment. Sure, I was doing online Christmas shopping & it needed to get done, but I think I was dissociating. I cried a lot on this day. Like a lot.
December 21st, Day 2 – I was still on leave, thankfully. I needed this day to get my life right & just relax. Coming off vacation & Bill leaving was a lot to happen in a few days. The dogs & I just chilled & rested. Bentley started coughing & having a runny nose. I think it is kennel cough; poor buddy!
December 22nd, Day 3 – I woke up at 455am, and started the Peloton by 515am. Work out hack: go to sleep with a water bottle of pre workout on your nightstand. The second your alarm goes off, chug it. That is something my friend recommended to me because #sleepygirlies & it freaking worked! Within about 10 minutes, my entire body was itchy & ready to work out. There was no ignoring that & I pushed myself to do 30 minutes on the Peloton. After my half day of work, I ran on the treadmill for day 1 of a new running program. I’ve started (and not finished) various running programs about five times this year. I spent most of 2021 fighting SI joint dysfunction & that made running extremely difficult. My hip is finally more manageable, so I am starting a new running program. Not running has negatively impacted me mentally & physically , so I am excited to work on getting back to where I was in mid-2021. Today was such a good day I almost forgot I was sad.
December 23rd, Day 4 – Today wasn’t horrible. I mean it was just a bit boring. I was home all day, which is fine – I know the dogs enjoy that. We got a lot of freezing rain last night which caused cars & the roads to be covered in ice. I spent about 5 minutes deicing my car to go to Starbs & Target, but I thought about how icy the roads & parking lots would be so I changed my mind & went back in the warm & cozy house. Today was pretty uneventful. I listened to a lot of Christmas music. Christmas piano music is my favorite. I try not to think too much about being along on Christmas, because when I do I get really, really sad. I took pre-workout mid-afternoon & once my brain started itching, I knew it had kicked in, so I did 30 minutes on the Peloton. Bentley is doing okay. He hasn’t necessarily gotten better but he hasn’t gotten worse. I called the vet, but they said unless he gets worse (not eating/drinking/resting) the virus will just run its course. Aspen is such a good girl. I call her mine & Bentley’s emotional support dog.
Vagabond Texan 