Patriarch

According to Merriam-Webster, a patriarch is defined as, “a man who is a father or founder”.   The definition is so simple, yet the action is much more profound than the simplistic definition given by a dictionary.

To me, the patriarch of a family is easily defined by the roots in which we grow, develop, and blossom.  It is the foundation that is laid as we navigate this life and the world before us.  A patriarch is someone who, seemingly, has all of the knowledge that we yearn for.  This person may not say a whole lot very often.  But when they do speak – the entire group around them stops, and listens.  No one could dare miss out on what is about to be said by this seasoned, experienced individual.

The patriarch of my family is none other than John Bremond (JB) Owens.  I affectionately call him Papa.  My Papa is my paternal grandfather, and really the only grandfather I have ever known.  With the exception of the last 15 years (military duty, y’all), I lived my entire life within 10 minutes or less, of my Papa.  At one point in my life, we literally lived about 7 houses down from him and my Ahma.  As a child, my Ahma and Papa would take me to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone.  And many times, they took my sister and I to Dan’s Hamburgers, in Kyle, for lunch on Saturdays.

When I decided to join the military in 2004, my Papa was one of my biggest supporters.  He saw the fire and desire in my eyes and knew that was what I was meant to do.  He has taken a sincere interest in my military career and anytime I talk to him or get to visit, he asks me questions about my job and my military endeavors.  He asks me questions like, “When are you going to get promoted again?”  Which I love, because it is part of my drive and motivation.  I love visiting him and being able to tell him about how I am progressing and performing in my career.  My Papa has also always been a huge advocate for higher education.  When I received my bachelor’s degree, he asked me when I was going back for my master’s degree.  And after I earned my master’s degree, one of his first questions was when I was going back for my PhD.  It has nothing to do with not being proud of my accomplishments.  Those questions are because he knows my capabilities and he always wants me to do more to improve myself and my life.

When I got married, he made a “Here Comes The Bride” sign for my nephew, Noah to hold as he walked down the aisle.  The sign proudly hangs in my bedroom and every time I look at it, I think of the Owens family patriarch.  A couple of Christmases ago, he made a huge, beautiful wind chime set for his three sons and their wives.  Several months after Christmas, I made a comment about how beautiful the chimes were and how much I loved them.  I think I even made a comment about how much I would love a set myself.  Little did I know he almost immediately started working on a set for me.  About a month after I made that comment, Bill and I received a huge package in the mail.  It was my very own set of wind chimes, just like the ones he made for his three sons.  I was blown away.  I couldn’t believe he made them for me.  I remember standing in the middle of my kitchen in Colorado, with tears streaming down my face because I was so happy to have received such a beautiful, sweet, thoughtful gift.

Thinking about my Papa makes me consider the amount of time I have spent away from family.  I joined the military with the intention to travel.  I wanted to take advantage of the experiences associated with the military.  I was at a point in my life where I just wanted to go.  In my true nature, I wanted to leave as soon as I possibly could.  It wasn’t because I wanted to get away from family by any means.  Out of my 15 years, I have been fortunate enough to spend six of those years within about an hour and a half of family.

The more time that goes by that I am away from family, the more I feel a pull to be near them again…